Cheating

photo credit: Legozilla via photopin cc

I bought Andy Stanley's "Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins When Family and Work Collide?" on the recommendation from my friend Russ. With work, ministry and family all getting busier, I felt I needed to address how to separate and view each section of my life.

It is a short book and the premise is basic - choose to cheat work and not family. There are many stories from Andy's life and those that he ministers to that he shares to punctuate this point. What I appreciate the most is the example Stanley takes from Daniel on how he dealt with making a choice to do the right thing.

"But Daniel was determined not to defile himself by eating the food and wine given to them by the king. He asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods." Daniel 1: 8

Stanley does not advocate cutting corners at work or anything like that. But with the demands of the marketplace these days, most people are expected to work overtime, weekends and go on trips that usually take them away from family. But taking cues from Daniel, Stanley encourages those who are faced with choosing between work and family to ask work to put family first.

Each person is in a different scenario, but the basic framework is 1) Make up your mind that you want to prioritize family 2) Develop a plan 3) Deliver the plan diplomatically. Of the third point, Daniel did 3 things:

1. He asked for permission to change
2. He listened to his supervisor's objections
3. He proposed a test taking account of his supervisor's objections

So for those who want to protect family from the demands of work, you can:

1. Address the issue directly with supervisor
2. Ask, don't demand
3. Offer alternatives

Ask for a trial and don't give up. Maybe the first alternative is not accepted, but it may mean another alternative might the right one. I recommend reading the book if you need help on making your mind (preference vs. conviction) to cheat work instead of family. It is a helpful resource to those who struggle with the boundaries between work, ministry (or any other category) and family.